I’ve never seen anything more correct
I've never made a bet, but we gamble with desire.
I've never lit a match, with intent to start a fire.
But recently the flames are getting out of control.
"suck my dick"
"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"
a thrilling series
the gripping saga continues
Seizure First Aid.
Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it.
100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)
This is so important!
Really good friend of mine from work back home had seizures a few times on the job. This is crucial information.
i think everyone thinks about becoming a prostitute at one point in their life
6th grade was a hard time for me
When your crush is dating someone and they break up
am i the only one who thinks people look hotter when they’re in underwear and not when they’re naked
no one ever lets me give them a piggyback ride
they’re just like “i might break you”
no you foolish mortal
i have the strength of a thousand horses
please, place yourself upon my back
the nurse gave me some valium before my surgery so i wouldn’t have a panic attack when they tried to put me under and just when it was starting to kick in i met my anesthesiologist, who told me I have the same name as his kid and I just nodded thoughtfully and said ‘we must battle so i can become the alpha’ and my dad nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard
me and my friend:
you and your friend:
why do dads sneeze so loud
To assert dominance over lesser sneezers